Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder

Now, I know that I want to keep this blog to be about a lot of crafty, foody, and naily things. But, I feel as though I should be allowed to write about a few more personal things, right? And, well, its my blog, so I'm going to. lol

At the risk of sounding like a well known nun singing on a live with with music, Let's start at the very beginning.

Quiet a few years ago, maybe about 2004 or 2005, two of my best friends from high school found the hobby of sending me Cosmo articles, verbatim, through AOL instant messenger. This then progressed to them being sure that my life wouldn't be complete with this new found knowledge of "What he likes" unless I also has a Victoria Secret's bra. So, that Christmas, they joined their money, purchased my girls a gift card, and gave it to me in a Dollar General training bra that they has written on with a red marker. It was one of the most hilarious presents I had ever opened...and in public, at that. So, a few weeks later, I finally made it to a VS and bought my first really nice bra.

As soon as the girls were properly supported, there was instant uplighting and a choir of angles singing.

I wore the heck out of this bra. And continued to do so until it finally had to be put out to pasture. When the bra was gone, it was like I had lost my best friend. I didn't ave the money at the time to buy a new VS bra. I relapsed into cheap bras, because before VS, they were all I knew! I even delved into the world of sports bras and thinking that because my skinnier, smaller bossomed friends could wear tank tops with built in bras as their bra, then I could, too. Looking back not I will honestly admit it wasn't the best of ideas for me, but I was going to be just like them, dammit! I was going to wear tanktops under EVERYTHING. If I got hot? What did it matter? I was still just like them.

Finally, my mom talked me into going to Lane Bryant and looking at their bras because we had a coupon or something. I went, though I was perfectly fine with my tank tops at the time. And, then, for the first time, I was properly measured for a bra. It was...amazing. They told me precisely what I needed and when I put it on, it was like I had found my best friend once more.

We purchased three that day, and once again, I wore them until the underwire finally snapped in the middle. It was a sad day, and I was soon finding myself in the underwear section of Wal-Mart looking for something, telling myself "Oh, I just need something cheap. It will just be for a few days until I can get to the store and by a few more really nice ones."

A few days turned into a few weeks, which then turned into a few months. I try to find something at some of the other clothing stores I had went into, but they were still just as cheap and my boobs were proving to take over the world.

Last night I had had enough of it! I gathered my roommate into the car with  me and off we went to the mall. Once again, I headed towards Lane Bryant, but I went for the same size I had worn last time. But when I put it on? Well, my cup runneth over. A little distraught, I put on the same size around, but upped my cup and wasn't sure if it was fitting right. Thankfully, one of the workers saw the distraught look on my face as I was looking through the bras again to find something, ANYTHING, that could contain Flotsam and Jetsam. She asked if I wanted to be sized and I instantly said yes and about dropped my dress right there.

She measured me and that's when it all went down hill. First it was around my body, the measuring tape help right underneath my boobs. She made a noise and then went "Looks like you're in the middle. You're hitting right around 41." I just nodded and then helped her place the tape around the largest part of the boobs. Then she kind of laughed and I could just picture her standing behind me, shaking her head in amusement. "You're in the middle here, too. Between a DD and a D cup." For a second I let out a breath of relief because I was totally worried she was going to say between double and triple d. But then I just laughed. Of course I was in the middle on both parts! Because life couldn't be as east for me as to just say my size, pat my head Cindy Lou-who style, and send me on my way with my glass of water.

I fiddled around a bit until I was finally comfortable with two different bra and made my purchases. At the time I Was a little grumpy because I wasn't sure if what I bought was really right or not, and a good bra costs a good, pretty penny. But, this morning, A smile was brought to my face the moment I put the bra on and the girls were back where they belonged. It was like seeing an old friend that you hadn't seen in years. And I definitely said "Oh, hello, ladies!" when I saw myself in the mirror.

Now I'm just tempted to write a lower  case d on the tags in the new bras. Because, that's what the middle of D and DD is, right? Dd?